A Doctrine For Self Improvement

When the straight edge first exploded onto the volatile punk rock music scene in the early 80s the concept was new, it was fresh and to many original & revolutionary.
Growing up I never felt like I fit in. I always felt like the black sheep of my family. The one who got into trouble with school or whatever, a general hell raiser with an affinity for disrespecting authority. I didnt fit the mould that I guess most kids did. I dont know about you but I always liked a challenge, I guess maybe my rebellious nature could be attributed to feeling trapped & stifled.

I discovered rock music and was instantly drawn in. Music has always been a solace for me. Having always had an eclectic music taste and an openness to ideas & ideals. So I submersed myself in the culture but I was still hungry when I stumbled across hardcore...

"We went to all-ages shows, Sunday matinees
hanging out wondering if the bands would show and even play.
The bands would come and we would all sing along (sing along sing along).
Would they ever know their impact would last so long?
The world is full of lonely places no matter where you're from.
A crowded show, familiar faces make me feel at home.
Many kids have come and gone but I know what kept me here.
The magic of those songs has sustained me through the years.
I heard the word sincerity and I know now what that means.
I learned it first with Black Flag, Mohawks, combat boots and torn-up jeans.
We were more than just a tour date. You were more than just a song.
We sweat and sang together and that helped us to carry on.
We were more. You were more. For the record." Stretch Arm Strong (For The Record)

I didnt understand the snotty punks in leather jackets doing drugs & self harming, getting into fights and all the other clique stuff they would do seemingly in a vain attempt to rebel when they were just buying into a fashion code and a way of existence as does all society to an extent there will always be someone who has done something that you have done (Unless your name happens to be something like Monet, Edison, Rembrandt, Da Vinci, the Wright Brothers, Michelangelo, Einstein - Im sure you get where this is going point being most of us arent fortunate enough to have a eureka moment)
The humour & hypocrisy of this just made me switch off to that but I could relate to the vibe of hardcore D.I.Y. shows. Kids from all walks of life punks mixing with jocks, well built guys; good looking girls, tattoos & piercing's as varied as the cosmopolitan hairstyles
I adored the positive messages hardcore bands & especially youth crew bands brought with them, the enthusiasm of the gang chants, and the fury of the slam dancing. The fact that anyone could be in a band or start a record label and with a little hard work, forward thinking, optimism & drive could garner support from those around them & be creative.

It was listening to lyrics to songs like Snapcase's 'Caboose' and feeling inspired...

"Do you know yourself
do you know the others
can you pull the weight that rides on another's shoulders
once you've lost yourself to the acceptance mask
well could you find yourself
it's not a simple task
self-inherence
freedom
comes from within
take a different track
it's time to see what you are made of
can you expose yourself
can you peel off another layer
will you make the time
the time to control
because only you can save yourself
only you can save your soul
and once you save yourself
insecurities will die
genuine qualities
and true character will shine
now that you belong to you
what will the others think
well, soon they'll follow you
you'll see they're all so weak
come on
can you, let go
can you, be you"

Or hearing Sweet Pete work his magic with In My Eyes Or Wrench in Ten Yard Fight (Now Stand & Fight Vocalist) and how he spoke to you with a song like Forever....

"Honor and friendship, the things that you lack
You used us all, then turned your back
Now we can see the real you
You talked a big game but never followed through
You made your choice!!!
You made your choice!!!
I hope you achieve the goals you have set
But goals mean nothing when you forget
Your dreams, our spirit, what we're about
You had it all man, but chose to sell out
When I look into your eyes, I want to be sick
The person I once trusted is now a hypocrite
Face up, you lost what we made together
You think you're winning now, but pride is forever
Pride is forever [x3]"

It was reality & I could relate to people who brought concepts of self-awareness & empowerment, hope or discipline to my attention.

Then of course came the multitude of Xs whether it were on clothing, marker penned onto hands or tattooed onto skin and thinking you know - what the hell is this?

Its not just abstinence from drugs (alcohol & tobacco inc.) & vices like promiscuity, it is much more than that. It is a lifetime decision, not to be taken lightly or in vain. Its about trying to be a positive person & having a positive impact on all those around. About respecting others beliefs & ways of living. Its not about constantly preaching an agenda or telling people to do this or else. Its about leading by example because others will follow if they see something special in the way you carry yourself and are doing something for yourself that has made you a better & happier person.
Its about doing it for yourself, your friends & your family. Having the courage to care for people from all walks of life, because respecting other faiths and ideologies is the only way forward in garnering support for your own cause. Its helping people off the floor if they fall down in the pit; its being there in the time of need for friends. Its breaking up fights, which have no place at a hardcore show.
Yes its being drug free essentially but as Stan Lee quite eloquently put it (In Spider Man) "With great power comes great responsibility" and if you take that straight edge oath to yourself, take on the label then it is your responsibility to uphold that & yours alone. You are the only one guiding your future. Have faith in yourself & others will be inspired

Take The Risk
"Who's to say that your mind won't change
Yesterday's excuses just aren't relevant today
It may take time it may take a strong will
But we don't have to swallow such a bitter pill
Better to have tried
Better to have learned
Better to take that risk
Than let this world wear you down
Half our time's spent wishing for something else
The other half lost in a breath
The standards I set were always for myself
Sorry if you thought they applied to anyone else
I always promised I'd try my best
I can't stand to see you waste what's in yourself
And now I'm asking
Are you happy with second best
It's so contrived and disappointing
To see you complacent like all the rest" - In My Eyes

Personally I dont look at it as a set of rules & regulations. Its simplicity is both its key and greatest gift. Its a badge of honour for the few that not only accept the challenge, but embrace it & persevere with it reaping the highest rewards of arguably mental & physical stability. Its advantages far outweigh any disadvantages (if there are any?)

Honour, loyalty, commitment, discipline, family, friendship all words bounded about in the scene (and the themes of many a crucial song) Well how about passion, drive, unity, heart, love, & energy? emotions and feelings that encapsulate what a hardcore show is all about. Hardcore is much more than an aggressive force of punk rock it is a lifestyle and its full of life lessons that need to be, should be and are embraced by the legions of kids that form these bands, go to shows, run labels or book tours.
This is not just an underground gathering anymore, its a growing army of disaffected young people looking for hope, a bright light in the disillusion of the dark empty streets & clarity through the turmoil of societys ills & diseases (such as the scourge of addiction)

Raise Your Fist
"Broken down, grab a hold of my hand. Cleanse yourself. Broken. Self-defeated. Lost.
Youve got to give yourself some discipline. Fuck yeah. Raise your fist in the air.
Drug free. Cleanse yourself. You don't need it. Despite what you may think. Its in
your head. Its in your fucking head. Raise your fist in the air drug free. Cleanse
yourself. You don't need it. Despite what they may say. Cleanse yourself. You don't
need it. Despite what they may say. Cleanse yourself. You don't need it. Despite what
you may think. Now set yourself free. Set yourself free."
-Throwdown

A bleak picture to paint the point being hardcore woke up something inside me that had been lying dormant that needed waking up. Straight Edge was the fuel for that fire. Being around all the ideologies & open minded people drew me in, intelligent young adults whose chosen vehicle for salvation & enlightenment just happened to be one of the most aggressive forms of music know to mankind An outlet for rage, aggression & everything that had pissed you off during your day, week, month, year, it didnt matter cause when that music played you were lost to its message. It was timeless. Fists clenched raised to the heavens, the band would be playing to kids who were setting off, leaping from balconies, flipping into the crowd. The majesty of gymnastics and martial arts interfused into an uncompromising test of sheer bravery and idiocy, impassioned and hungry to shed worries, fears & inhibitions.
There is a certain eloquence and beauty to a room filled with kids chanting along to whatever messenger (cause thats how I look at hardcore vocalists) is up on stage.

I cannot recall first hearing the word Straight Edge but I can remember the WAY it was said like something special, something that sounds lame but given thought makes sense, the sort of thing that gets respect from the sort of people who wouldnt respect an authoritarian guideline but when put into the context of hardcore music and where thats at, you know it seems cool! It takes commitment & loyalty through good times and bad, no matter what with the until death stigma attached to it. No matter what you may say initially it does make you hard-line, it shapes you up, makes you stronger, it gives you confidence knowing you dont need a buffer or a crutch. Self esteem comes with knowing you dont need to be wasted at shows to have a killer time. Itll make you look at the world in a whole new way and thats just the start.

Straight Edge is a pretty hard-line ethic to adhere too, you know staying clean of drugs & addiction no matter what life throws in your path. Trying to have a positive impact with your own life and on the lives of those around you. No matter how fucked up things get its a bold statement not to be taken lightly. To be this way, have others knowing your edge and the fact that they probably wont understand it. From my own experience all those people who were baying for me to fall to break edge, well they underestimated me & they will underestimate you too, when you prove to them you have what it takes, that you know the definition of keeping a promise to yourself.

The lifestyle is like the music uncompromising; there arent excuses or second chances to get it right.

No Exceptions
"Dedication is what you lack
I turn my head, pull the knife out of my back
So many promises, and that's your one regret
So many goals, now none will be met
Don't come to me looking for redemption
Not this fucking time
There'll be no exceptions!
You made your choice
Took the easy way
That shit you pulled, not what friendship's about
Same old story, I've seen it before
You take your lies
Can't look at your face no more!"
-Floorpunch

It is something that you do for yourself. When people do break edge its disappointing & disheartening, but its their loss, if they want to go down that road to self-destruction that is their problem. You have to take it all with a pinch of salt. At least they had the fucking balls to try, in defense of those edge breakers I respect that they at least tried it before passing judgement.

I do find it humorous when people say things like "if your not now you never were" and part of me agrees with the statement because for all intents and purposes Straight Edge is a life time commitment & slogans like "true till death" "suicide before betrayal" and "death before dishonor" ring true to me because I know in myself I will never betray the Straight Edge. I have it tattooed on my skin so I dont have to justify it to anyone, its a part of me, who I am FOR LIFE.

Im not afraid of a challenge; the thing is are you? Take the risk and be inspired by your choice XXX
Phil Wilkey straightedgephil@hotmail.com